Yo. I'm a cereal killer it's a bad habit! I killed lucky charms last week and the trix bunny before that. Gotta thank Nick for showing me ICP. I know I just murdered the lyrics too haha.

Today was long but fun.. my legs are killing me after four hours of water polo and hiking yesterday. I forgot how intense hiking with Chris is. I also forgot my vans are too big so i have two fatty blisters that feel amazing when I'm at water polo. Then I tripped last time I went hiking and the one scrape won't heal because my skin is too dry and it keeps cracking. My mom says I look like I just got out of battle... I'm not complaining though I love all the things I do.

It's so nice to be this tired though, I love how well I sleep at night. Even though when my alarm first goes off at 4:45 in the morning I feel like throwing my pillow through the wall, its kind of nice getting polo done early and having the rest of the day to do whatever. Even doing other activities on top of it... leave no time for excess thinking and other mundane things. Mundane perhaps isn't quite the right word but whatever.

Sometimes I feel like their is a distance between Nick and I, or me and other friends because of how my life is completely different then theirs. I'm at water polo so much and working so hard it, well Nick is off having fun with everyone doing normal summer things. Occasionally I wonder what it would be like to have a life like that, but I guess I can't understand it anymore then he can mine. It really doesn't matter ultimately I suppose, but sometimes the people I feel the most comfortable around is my polo friends because they get it, and they know exactly what's it like, our stresses, problems, the people. I start feeling this distance and isolation because I keep things in because I can't explain it.

Yet at times I feel so lonely... because I feel so out of touch with Nick's life or others friends lives and none of them understand or so it seems to me. They are caught up in completely different things then me, and they can try to pretend to pay attention but I know its not interesting unless you play the sport or really like sports. Thats not even exactly it either, its just so much of my energy is put into something intangible to them. I try to understand their lives and feel like a part of it but I don't. The more often I see Nick the less I feel that distance but lately I have and it makes me sad.

I can't really explain any of this that well. It is simply loneliness for what I am not quite sure.

I do know that I wouldn't trade what I do for a normal schedule because I would be bored as hell without it and I love the challenge and the fun of it. This summer has been the best ever so far, and I still get to do the hiking n climbing as well as just simply relaxing like last night. Last night with Nick was so fun all we did was listen to music make fun of tv and take Maggie to get a cheeseburger but for some reason it was so simple it was amazing. I don't know. lol. I'm excited for all the polo stuff going on this summer though... n I'm really happy I am playing the best I ever have.

Well this mess that doesn't make any sense is all I have to say.

Peace out.